Seek within and Find Everything You Truly Desire

“A lot of times, we have things in our mind such as wanting love, happiness, peace, and freedom. I remember in the early years, saying repeatedly to Jesus, ‘This is what I want.’ And Jesus would come back to me and say, yes, yes, yes, good, good, good. Yes, you want these experiences, but you just don’t know how to go about having them because for every one of those things, you’ve got these externals, something that you perceive is external to yourself, associated with these things. And that is why when you seek after these things in form to bring you the happiness and the peace, the freedom and joy, you are trying to come at it in the wrong way. You are trying to use inappropriate means to reach an experience of that which you say you want and are entitled to. It’s more than even being entitled. This is your natural state of being, but you don’t understand that you are asking for something that you already are because you don’t know that you already are that. It’s not in your awareness, so you are seeking outside yourself to fill up your empty cup. If I have this, this, and this, I’ll be happier. If I have this, this and this, I’ll feel more free.

You see how the mind is seeking, grasping for outcomes, goals, and objectives to bring about these things? It is very humbling to start to be pointed in the right direction and be pointed inward to the experience of these things, instead of If I had the right outcomes, then I’ll reach it sometime in the future. This is a favorite ego game. Keep the carrot moving. So you are constantly seeking and seeking and never reaching. And the ego is always shifting the goals around, saying, ‘Well good, good, good, but go after this, go after that, and then you’ll be happy.’ I felt like there were many years of my life where I played this game, ‘I’ll be happy when.’ I had the ‘I’ll be happy when’ game going on, and it just perpetuates itself. When does ‘when’ arrive? When will I experience that? It’s always pushing it off with other things, and that is that cause and effect idea, still believing that if I do the right thing, if I make the right choices in form, then I will find the outcome. The ego even projects out people and says, Look at them. They’re happy. Look what they’ve done. They’ve worked hard at it, and now they’re happy, and you’re not. They’re happy; you’re not. One time I was in a group, and I said, ‘Has anyone here met someone who is genuinely and consistently happy?’ And someone raised their hand. I said, ‘Tell me about it.’ He said, ‘Well, he’s a pitcher with the Atlanta Braves, and he’s won the SIAM award, and he’s got a beautiful wife and a beautiful family, etc.’ I said, ‘Your job is to go and interview this guy and ask him.’ He may have looked like he was happy, but to find consistent happiness is really to empty your mind of these pursuits of something, pursuits, achievements, trying to bring about the right outcome. That is the trick of the world, and it never seems to pop through.​”